Filed in: Learning & Education
By Allyson Nesmith, Digital Content Contributor
In a few short weeks, my sister will start her freshman year at Vanderbilt University (go Dores!). My dad is in full preparation mode to make sure she starts this new chapter of her life on the right foot. He’s spent the past few weeks strutting the aisles of Costco for snacks and drinks for her dorm, researching the perfect combination of school supplies to best set her up for academic success and proudly wearing his “Vanderbilt Dad” t-shirt every chance he gets.
Watching his tender efforts to help my sister navigate this major transition in her life, and knowing he’s been there for my siblings and I every step of the way (especially as we started high school at a new school, in a new city) had me wondering—what are other ways that parents, teachers, and other caring adults can support youth as they return back to school? To find out, I talked to Nancy Deutsch, PhD, Director of Youth-Nex at the University of Virginia, and Joyce Pae, Principal at the Chicago Academy K-8 School.
First, adults must remember that the school-year schedule is going to be completely different than schedules during the summer.
“Their brains are working around the clock in their new classroom to learn the rules and routines, read the body language of their classmates and teachers and learn the content,” Joyce said. “So, by the time they get home, they are exhausted. Make sure you keep a light schedule the first two weeks back to school to allow your kids (and you) to get a little more sleep.”
“For example,” said Nancy, “if you’re a teacher, look for the small places in your interactions with youth, or informal times, such as during class changes, when you can initiate conversations with students to get to know about their lives outside of school.”
Since youth are pulled in many different directions, it can be helpful to find times that are unstructured within their schedule to check-in with how they’re doing mentally, physically and emotionally.
“For parents,” she said, “use those unstructured times like car or bus rides to ask your child about what’s going on in their lives. While adolescents may respond with ‘nothing,’ being a consistent presence who is showing interest lets them know that you’re there for them, even if they give the impression that they couldn’t care less!”
Additionally, having a consistent schedule and routine for youth can help as they navigate this transition, particularly when it comes to sleep. Developmental science shows that even as adolescents become more independent, having parent-set bedtimes can result in less fatigue, and less trouble staying awake during the day.
“It’s very tempting to try to squeeze as much fun into our summer as possible,” said Joyce. “But, starting a schedule that focuses on a set bedtime and wake up time can help ease the transition for both adults and children.”
She added, “All of us need more sleep when we start something new. Think about the last time you started a new job or activity. You may remember feeling more exhausted than usual at the end of the day because you were nervous and excited. This is exactly how our kids feel in the first week of school, even the students who have been going to the same school for years.”
It’s also important to remember that not every day will be perfect. “Keep in mind that there may be both positive and negative emotions with the end of summer and the beginning of the school year,” said Nancy. “So, making room for, and normalizing, both are important.”
Providing youth with a positive example of how to deal with their range of emotions—both positive and negative—can help with the not-so-perfect days. “Admitting when we are having a bad day, are feeling sad about something, or that we failed at something we care about lets youth know that such experiences are a normal part of life,” said Nancy. “Maybe it’ll make it easier for them to bring up something that is not going well for them.”
Additionally, it can help to have activities where youth can share emotions that may be kept below the surface. Nancy described a beginning-of-school activity presented by two middle school teachers at a conference she attended. Each student gets a paper plate with their name written on it, and on one side, they write words that describe how they think other people see them. On the other side, the students write words that they think describe themselves but that other people don’t see. Then, the teachers collect these plates to keep, so that they can see the things that kids might not be showing them in the classroom.
“I think this is an amazing way to get to know a little more about how students might be feeling, and what parts of themselves they may be leaving outside the classroom door,” said Nancy. “Providing that invitation to bring their whole selves into the classroom can be an important way to let them know that you value their whole selves.”
The shift from summer back into the school year is a transition for youth. There are an abundance of ways that parents, teachers, and other caring adults can help young people adjust.
“It takes time to rebuild schedules and reset our clocks,” said Nancy. “So, be patient and scaffold youth in getting back in the habits of the academic year.”
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